Abdul-Lateef Abdullah (Steven Krauss): My Journey To Islam

By: Abdul-Lateef Abdullah (Steven Krauss)

My journey to Islam - How Malay martial arts led a theologically dissatisfied American Protestant to Islam.

My experience in Islam began as a graduate student in New York City in 1998.Up to that point in my life, for 25 years, I had been a ProtestantChristian, but had not been practicing my religion for quite some time. Iwas more interested in “spirituality” and looking for anything that didn’thave to do with organized religion. To me, Christianity was out of touch andnot relevant to the times. It was hard for me to find anything in it that Icould apply to my everyday life. This disillusion with Christianity led meto shun everything that claimed to be organized religion, due to myassumption that they were all pretty much the same, or at least in terms oftheir lack of relevance and usefulness.
Much of my frustration with Christianity stemmed from its lack of knowledgeand guidance around the nature of God, and the individual’s relationship toHim. To me, the Christian philosophy depends on this rather bizarreintermediary relationship that we are supposed to have with Jesus, who onone hand was a man, but was also divine. For me, this difficult and veryvague relationship with our Creator left me searching for something thatcould provide me with a better understanding of God, and our relationship toHim. Why couldn’t I just pray directly to God? Why did I have to begin andend every prayer with “in the name of Jesus Christ?” How can an eternal,omnipotent Creator and Sustainer also take the form of a man? Why would Heneed to? These were just a few of the questions that I could not resolve andcome to terms with. Thus, I was hungry for a more straightforward and lucidapproach to religion that could provide my life with true guidance, not justdogma that was void of knowledge based in reason.
While in graduate school, I had a Jewish roommate who was a student of themartial arts. While I was living with him, he was studying an art calledsilat, a traditional Malaysian martial art that is based on the teachings ofIslam. When my roommate would come home from his silat classes, he wouldtell me all about the uniqueness of silat and its rich spiritual dimension.As I was quite interested in learning martial arts at the time, I wasintrigued by what I had heard, and decided to accompany my roommate to classone Saturday morning. Although I did not realize it at the time, myexperience in Islam was beginning that morning at my first silat class inNew York City back on February 28th, 1998. There, I met my teacher, Cikgu(which means teacher in Malay) Sulaiman, the man who would first orient meto the religion of Islam. Although I thought I was beginning a career as amartial artist, that day back in 1998 actually represented my first steptoward becoming Muslim.
From the very beginning, I was intrigued by silat and Islam and beganspending as much time as possible with my teacher. As my roommate and I wereequally passionate about silat, we would go to my teacher’s house and soakup as much knowledge as we could from him. In fact, upon our completinggraduate school in the spring of 1998, upon his invitation, we spent theentire summer living with him and his wife. As my learning in silatincreased, so did my learning about Islam, a religion that I had hardly anyknowledge of prior to my experience in silat.
What made my orientation to Islam so powerful was that as I was learningabout it, I was also living it. Because I studied at the home of my teacher,being in the presence of devout Muslims allowed me to be constantlysurrounded by the sounds, sights and practices of Islam. For as Islam is anentire lifestyle, when you are in an Islamic environment, you cannotseparate it out from everyday life. Unlike Christianity, which lends towarda separation between daily life and religion, Islam requires its followersto integrate worship of Allah into everything we do. Thus, in living with myteacher, I was immersed in the Islamic deen (lifestyle) and experiencingfirst-hand how it can shape one’s entire way of life.
In the beginning, Islam was very different and powerful to me. It was alsovery foreign in many ways and the amount of discipline it requires wasdifficult to understand. At the time, I was liberal in many ways, and wasused to shunning anything dogmatic or imposed, regardless of where it camefrom! As time went on, however, and my understanding of Islam grew, I beganto slowly see that what seemed to be religious dogma was really a lifestyleput forth to us by our Creator. This lifestyle, I would later learn, is thestraight path to true contentment, not just the sensual and superficial wayof life that my society and culture promote. I realized that the question isquite simple actually. Who could possibly know better what the best way oflife is for human beings than the all-wise Creator?
From that first silat class in New York City to the day I took my shahadda,July 30, 1999, I had undergone a thorough self-examination that wascomprised of two major processes. One was to question the culture of thesociety I was brought up in, and the second was to question the role Iwanted religion to play in my everyday life. As for my culture, this one wasnot as difficult as most people would think.
American culture is highly influential on how we see life because itconstantly bombards us with sensual gratification aimed at appealing to ourworldly desires. In America, happiness is defined by what we have andconsume, thus, the entire culture is geared toward the marketplace. Unlesswe are removed from this type environment, it is difficult to see itsdrawbacks, which are based on worshipping and putting faith in everythingbut God, the only One that can provide us with real, lasting contentment inour lives.
Being a social scientist by trade, much of my professional time is spenttrying to address the social ills of our society. As I learned more aboutIslam, I came to the conclusion that many societal ills are based onunhealthy social behavior. Since Islam is a lifestyle focused totally on themost healthy, positive way of conducting our lives in every setting, then itis, and will always be, the only real answer to any society’s socialdilemmas. With this realization, not only did I decide that Islam wasrelevant to my everyday life, but I began to understand why it is sodifferent from other religions. Only Islam provides knowledge and guidancefor every aspect of life. Only Islam provides a way to achieve health andhappiness in every dimension of life – physical, spiritual, mental,financial, etc. Only Islam provides us with a clear life goal and purpose.And only Islam shows us the proper way to live in and contribute to acommunity. Islam is what everyone needs, and what so many who have not foundit yet, are searching for. It is the path to purpose, meaning, health andhappiness. This is because it is the straight path to the source of truthand real power – Allah.
It was only until I actually became Muslim that I realized just howencompassing the Islamic lifestyle is. Literally everything we do has oneunderlying purpose – to remember Allah. The lifestyle provides us with theway – not just the understanding – but an actual method of constantlyremembering our Creator in as simple an act as greeting someone, or gettingdressed in the morning, or waking up from sleep. Islam shows us that byremembering Allah, everything we do becomes focused on Him, and thus becomesan act of worship. From this, our energy, our thoughts, and our actions allbecome redirected away from unhealthy and useless causes, and focused on thesource of all goodness. Thus, we are continuously tapping into His divinestrength, mercy and grace. So, by remembering Allah constantly, we becomestronger and healthier in every aspect of our lives and not distracted byself-defeating thoughts and behaviors.
There still remain some minor aspects of Islam that have proven to besomewhat difficult adjustments for me. Nevertheless, I thank Allah everydayfor the ease to which he has allowed me to make the necessary changes in mylife so that I can continue to live in America and still be, Insha-Allah, agood Muslim. As a white, middle-class American, many cultural aspects ofIslam are quite different from the way in which I grew up. In fact, when Ifinally broke the news to my family that I had become Muslim, almost all oftheir questions and concerns were related to cultural differences –marriage, social life, family, etc. They were much less concerned about mygeneral beliefs about God and religious practice. For my family, friends,and co-workers, becoming Muslim was not seen necessarily as a negativechange, but it has required a great deal of education about Islam.
Because acquiring knowledge is a critical component to a Muslim’sdevelopment, having a teacher who has taught me how to apply Islam ineveryday life has made all the difference in managing whatever difficultiesI have experienced from my reversion. Having someone knowledgeable you canturn to whenever you have questions is a wonderful support that every newshahadda should go out of their way to find. Islam is not a religion thatcan be rationalized, in the way that Christianity and Judaism are. It is aclear path that must be followed just as Allah has laid out for us throughthe Qur’an and the lives of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW), hiscompanions, and the saints of Islam.
In this day and age, in this society, discerning the path can often bedifficult, especially when we are constantly faced with questions and doubtsfrom people who on the surface may not be hostile to Islam, but whosegeneral lack of faith can have a harmful effect on someone who baseseverything they do on their love for Allah. It is also not easy being in anenvironment where we are constantly bombarded with sensual temptations thatare seen as ordinary, common aspects of everyday life. But when we have thesupport of a knowledgeable, experienced teacher, who is able to apply theuniversal teachings of Islam to his life, then the truth becomes clear fromerror, exactly how Allah (SWT) describes in the Qur’an. From this, we areable to understand how to apply Islam correctly to our own lives, andInsha-Allah receive Allah’s many blessings. The ultimate test, however, ofanyone who claims to have true and right knowledge, is to look at how theyapply it in their own lives. If their actions support their teachings, thenand only then should we look to them for guidance.
My journey to Islam has been a life-altering experience. It is one that withevery passing day, makes me more and more appreciative and thankful toAlmighty Allah. The extent of His mercy can only fully be understood fromthe perspective of a Muslim – one who prostrates regularly and submits theirwill to that of the Creator.
I look back at my life prior to Islam and reflect on the different ways Isought guidance. I think back to all the different ideas I once had of whoGod really is, and how we can become close to Him. I look back now with asmile and perhaps even a tear because now I know the truth. Through Islam, Iknow why so many people who do not believe have so much fear inside them.Life can be very scary without God. I know, because I once harbored thatsame level of fear. Now, however, I have the ultimate “self-help” program.It’s the self-help program without the self. It’s the path that putseverything is in its proper place. Now, life makes sense. Now, life isorder. Now, I know why I am here, where I want to go, what I want my life tobe, how I want to live, and what is most important not just to me, but toeveryone. I only hope and pray that others who have not found the path yet,can feel the same that I do. Ya arhama rahimeen wal hamdulillahi rabbilaylameen……
Source: http://www.islamfortoday.com/krauss.htm