Convincing Someone to Believe Question and answer details

From: http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-about-islam/society-and-family/conveying-the-message/166343-convincing-someone-to-believe.html


Name of Questioner: Samir

Reply date: 2012/02/17

Question: As-salamu `alaykum.I am not sure if am in the right place for this question, but I still hope that you can help me. I live in the Netherlands. I have a good friend here; he is Dutch. He is an unbelieving man in that he has no religion, but he really wants to believe in Allah, yet he doesn't know how. He said to me, “Why should I believe? There is no proof that Allah exists. My heart doesn't say to me that I must believe, but I want to believe. I feel as if I am missing something.” Have you any advice or words that can convince him? I am only 17 years old. I try to help him, but answering questions is always harder than asking them. I can't always help him. Thank you.

consultant: Ahmad Souza

Answer

Salam, Samir.



Thank you for your question.



First, it is impossible to “convince” another person of the truth of Islam, such that through a certain line of reasoning and debate, one is able to convert a non-Muslim to Islam. Nowhere in the Qur’an or Sunnah are Muslims instructed to “convince” non-Muslims. In fact, Allah says in the Qur’an what means:

*{Among them are some who listen to thee: but canst thou make the deaf to hear even though they are without understanding? Among them are some who look at thee: but canst thou guide the blind even though they will not see?}* (Yunus 10:42-43)



In other words, Allah is the One Who guides and Who leads astray. While this does not remove the responsibility from the Muslim to invite non-Muslims to Islam, it does show us that we are in reality powerless to open another’s heart to Islam. Nevertheless, we do da`wah (inviting to Islam) because it is the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and it is the means by which Allah often (but not always) spreads His guidance.



God has ordered Muslims to invite others to His way through da`wah. So this is what Muslims will be asked about. As for the "convincing", it is a matter in the hands of Allah. There is a big difference between inviting someone to something and between convincing him with it.



This argument may seem like a trivial point, but it is important to remember that the Prophet Muhammad’s uncle Abu Talib, one of the most beloved people in the world to him, was not guided to Islam before his death. The Prophet had spoken to his uncle about Islam and prayed for him countless times, yet nevertheless, the Messenger of Allah himself was powerless to convince him.



In reality, Allah’s existence is so obvious that many people cannot perceive Him. An analogy can be made with light: We are able to perceive the existence of light because of its contrast with darkness and shadow. Were there to be no darkness, we would only see light, which would be so obvious and all encompassing that we might not be able to identify it as a separate entity. In the same way, Allah’s light never diminishes or fades, and there is nothing to oppose or counter it. Just like the hypothetical light that knows no shadow, Allah is so obvious that many people fail to notice Him.



Returning to our initial argument, many Muslims believe that they can convince others of the truth of Islam though cold logic. The “scientific miracles in the Qur’an” da`wah has become popular during the past decade, while in fact, in my personal opinion, it echoes the inferiority complex of the Muslim world vis-à-vis the West. As one contemporary Muslim thinker explains:



“Many modernized Muslims, like so many other Orientals, equate science with civilization and judge the value of any human society and its culture by whether or not it has produced science, disregarding completely the lessons of the history of science itself.” ( Islam and the Plight of Modern Man, Seyyed Hossein Nasr, p. 186)



I see that a person whose iman (faith) is based upon the Qur’an’s miraculous mention of the expansion of the universe, for instance, has little iman at all, in fact. Rather, his heart is saying, “Scientific knowledge is absolute truth; thus if the Qur’an confirms it, then it must be a part of truth also.” If such an “iman” is not supplemented and reinforced by something more experiential, it will quickly fade. Therefore, I strongly recommend not pursuing the “scientific miracles in the Qur’an” line of da`wah with your friend.



Since the Enlightenment period, a significant portion of Europe (and America to some extent) has preferred nihilism over religion. While nihilism itself deserves no philosophical respect, it is hard to blame Europeans for their animosity toward religion in general. Whether it is in the form of some exploitative popes, sappy missionaries, sanctimonious fire-and-brimstone preachers, or violent Islamist extremists, men of religion have not conveyed the positive meaning to religion that it deserves. You must keep in mind that your Dutch audience is most likely very skeptical of any religion, let alone the religion of “the dark man from the East.” This should not discourage you; rather it should channel your da`wah away from certain sensitive issues that are specific to the European culture.



Returning to your question, the most important ingredients to make your da`wah effective both for you and your friend are sincerity, certainty, compassion, and virtue.



Speaking with your friend about Islam must be solely for the sake of Allah. At no point should you try and “beat him” in a specific debate, make him look foolish, or lose sight of your objective, namely calling him sincerely to Allah. You must correct your intention repeatedly throughout your da`wah, and you should try and stay in the remembrance of Allah as much as possible.



You must speak as if you see the metaphysical reality of this world before your very eyes. If I had knowledge that somebody was about to kill my friend, how would I speak to him? Even if he did not initially believe me, my earnestness and seriousness would eventually convince him. Similarly, your level of certainty will have a direct bearing on the effectiveness of your speech. Incidentally, a person’s level of certainty in something increases the more he sacrifices for it; thus, the more you invite to Allah, the more you will believe in Him yourself.



Throughout your da`wah, you must have true compassion for your friend and want the best for him in this world and the next. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) had compassion even for his enemies, and you must reflect the same type of concern for all of humanity. In this vein, your du`aa’ (supplicating) at night for your friend is on equal footing with your da`wah

during the day. Without one, the other will surely remain deficient.

Your conduct, selflessness, generosity, truthfulness, and general uprightness are a thousand times more convincing than words alone. These character traits show beyond all doubt that Islam is not simply another religion, but rather a complete system that encompasses the believer’s entire being. Without such virtues, the religion of Islam will seem no different from the empty, self-righteous religiosity that has swept the Western world.



Finally, you should plan a sensible “argument” for the excellence of Islam, but the minute you see either stubborn ignorance or bull-headedness on the part of your friend, you must back down. Do not let your da`wah deteriorate into a debate or quarrel. A Muslim is above quarreling, for it is the quickest way to lose your sincerity and make all of your efforts go to waste, both in this world and the next.



I hope this advice helps. Thank you and please stay in touch.